What is the reason you can’t sleep when your husband is away? Is it because you are used to the presence of him in bed? Or is there a fear stopping you from sleeping?
If you have been with a husband or partner for many years, the thought of sleeping alone can be daunting. Sleeping next to your husband brings comfort and security; when he is missing, the comfort has gone, and security becomes a reality.
Why do I sleep better next to my husband?
Dopamine, serotonin and melatonin. When you sleep next to your husband and touch the body, it releases dopamine and serotonin.
When serotonin is produced and released into the body, it is converted into melatonin, making you sleepy.
You fall asleep quicker and wake in a happy mood in most cases.
How can I fall asleep without my husband?
Some techniques can help. Once your husband is not home and you need to sleep alone, the feel-good hormones will be less prevalent, so you need to use other techniques to help you sleep.
Try these 5 tips for sleeping alone without your husband:
- If you have a pet, allow them to sleep in the bedroom with you or on the bed. A dog can bring comfort and security as they will stir much easier than a sleeping person. Let the cat in, and snuggle up.
- Alter your sleeping position, sleep in the middle of the mattress and spread out, and take advantage of the situation while your husband is out of town.
- Have a nice cup of warm herbal tea before bedtime. This should relax you.
- Introduce some noise into the bedroom. Listen to your favourite music or pink noise, such as waves lapping against the shoreline or rain tapping against the windows.
- Get a body pillow. It’s not a substitute, but being able to cuddle something big will help you drift off to sleep.
Does missing someone cause insomnia?
If prolonged sleep disturbances are experienced, then maybe yes. If your husband is away for prolonged periods, say in the military, and you have difficulty sleeping, this could be considered as short term insomnia.
Under normal circumstances, when your husband is away overnight, it is normal to feel some anxiety and find the separation difficult.
What do I do when I miss my husband so much?
Occupy your mind. Get together with friends for a social gathering. Even short separations can be painful, so you will need to occupy your body and mind.
Here are a few things you can try:
- Eat early in the evening, don’t eat anything that will upset your stomach, such as spicy foods or foods that are cooked in oil.
- Exercise early in the evening, nothing strenuous, just a brisk walk to tire your body.
- Read a good book, something you have wanted to read for a long time but didn’t get the chance to.
- Take a warm shower before going to bed and relax. Use lavender oil scented candles while you shower or aromatherapy oils to help you get in the mood for sleep.
- Keep your bedroom cool and dark.
- Make your bedroom a gadget-free zone. With no smartphones or tablet screens, they emit blue light that simulates daylight. It will wake you.
- If you can’t sleep, get out of bed and watch TV for 30 minutes, maybe have a cup of hot chocolate.
Sleep can be a nightmare subject, and if you are struggling due to anxiety, then some of the suggestions will help.
Why do I get anxious when my husband leaves?
It’s called separation anxiety. It may be a hangover from when you were a kid and would hate being left at school. It happens, and sometimes it can hang over into adulthood.
You may benefit from some cognitive or behavioural therapy if you experience excessive emotions such as fear and anxiety when your husband leaves.
What are the signs of separation anxiety?
It can manifest in many ways. Separation anxiety can be subtle and may only manifest itself when you are around loved ones and close friends.
If you feel tearful all the time this is likely to be a sign that the separation is getting to you.
If you develop a physical illness like sore throats, colds, or nausea, these can also be signs of separation anxiety.
Decreasing work performance as your mind is always somewhere else.
How do I deal with separation anxiety at night?
Maintain routine in your life. Often anxiety gets out of control when you don’t have a routine in your daily life. Make sure you develop a calming routine to adhere to daily. Wake at the same time, shower at the same time, eat at the same time, you get the picture.
If you have kids, it’s easy, the routine will be in place, but if you don’t have kids, then you need to be disciplined and reassess your daily routine and change it for the better.
Bedtime will be your Achilles heel, so if it’s possible, arrange to speak with your husband mid-evening, so you hear reassuring words, and I love you back and forth.
Why does missing him hurt so much?
It’s human nature, men feel it too. There could be a notion that your husband could forget you or realise that they can live without you easily and break up.
But the truth is it’s just a notion that you have conjured up in your mind. If it’s any consolation, men miss their wives when they are away and have exactly the same emotions.
To overcome these irrational fears, schedule regular meetings online, even for just 1 minute, so you can see each other. This may be difficult if your husband is in the military.
So write letters to each other and exchange words of love and caring.